Value in the Process
on opinion of self
In The Alchemist by Paul Coleho, the protagonist Santiago is sent on a hunt to uncover buried treasure. Through this quest, he undergoes a deep, personal process of self discovery. Ultimately, he returns to where he started, realizing that he was standing on his treasure from the beginning. It was never about the prize, but the journey to get there. Those gritty parts of the climb, where he accumulates the lessons to free himself from attachment and begin the strut toward acceptance and integration.
I still have my annotated copy of The Alchemist from Ms. Davis’ 9th grade English class. Even at that age, I recognized the wisdom of this text. I continue to return to it, especially when the road ahead looks uncertain (like now!). Often it feels like I am submerged in the formless possibilities of the future. All that can be and could be, endless imaginings. But if I’ve learned anything so far it’s that what I seek is not outside of myself. It is not a rendering of a future self who has accumulated treasure. All that I want is already within me. The truest of treasures is unlocked when I come back to myself. The self that is worthy of unconditional love regardless of condition or age or wealth. I can give to myself that which I most desire. An acceptance that is static and embedded in my highest opinion of self.
I reflect again on the poem I shared in my last post. I think about the girl that wrote it 5 years ago. The Marwa who was beginning to awaken to the role she plays in her own suffering. Stuck in an illusion that freedom means not feeling pain. Although I am still in the thick of navigating the forest of my own despair, I can see a crack in the door. There is a bright light peaking through, beckoning me.
Today I understand that my path forward means welcoming my shadow into this light. Everything that has transpired was necessary to get me to this part of the story. My suffering is a testament to my willingness to feel, to trust, and to risk.
Phil Stutz reminds us that, “being in sync with the shadow is about wholeness, wholeness means I don't need anything else and that is freeing”.
By the end of The Alchemist, readers understand that in the Language of the World, maktoub is simultaneously a concept of change and permanence. Our personal legend demands our presence and active participation in decision-making. And yet, ultimately each choice, each clue inches us closer to the story of our Soul, already written and waiting for us.
Today, my Co-Star app reads, “There is value in the process.” I can’t make this shit up! I share a small prayer of gratitude for the synchronicity of my life. When you make room to speak about what exists, you no longer have to spend time wondering what is left unsaid.